Recent Family Network at Night Program
March 6, 2002
On Wednesday evening, March 6, 2002, the JBS Family Network presented the
first annual Family Network at Night program. This year's program featured
Dr. William Danforth, Chancellor Emeritus of Washington University, and Dr.
Moisy Shopper, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics at Saint Louis
University, speaking on the topic of "Raising Children in an Uncertain
World". The two speakers offered both pragmatic and philosophical perspectives on parenting in our times. While both men agreed that all generations have faced dangers and threats of personal safety throughout
history, e.g. World Wars, the Cold War, disease, etc. , what Dr. Shopper referred to as
"break in the illusion of absolute security" has, as of 9/11, had a particularly strong impact on our somewhat self-centered
generation of parents and children. The men suggested that we do our children
a disservice when we protect them from history and that young people should
recognize that our species has always endured through hardship and strife.
Both Danforth and Shopper stressed the need to instill ethical values and
the capacity to think in our children. Both men also urged parents to allow
their children to feel the security of a loving parental relationship. Dr.Shopper referred to such an emotional attachment as
"the glue that holds a stressed relationship together." He added that parents should not let their
own issues such as money concerns, aging, marital problems or illness, prevent them from being there for their children. While we may not condone
the behavior of our children, we should try to understand where it originates. The media creates misinformation to sell products to young people
who may not be able to distinguish between truth and reality. Shopper
referred to media as instilling the "Butch Cassidy mentality", the picture
of morality accepted by many young people today that it is okay to do something if you think you can get away with it. He urged parents to teach
kids how to think, how to recognize the truth. Parents should model a positive balance of behaviors to achieve a compromise
between a healthy self-centeredness and a concern for others, including our peers.
Dr. Danforth encouraged a hopefulness about our times. He said that it is
always difficult to raise children--this has and will not ever change--our
times are no different in that sense. Danforth reminded the parents about the
resiliency of our children and that, while we live in a dangerous, threatening society, the automobile is still the greatest danger we face. Dr.
Danforth said that to prepare for the future we should be truthful, compassionate, adaptable, responsible, able to defer gratification and to
exercise self-control, and, finally, to be courageous. Danforth quoted Winston Churchill in referring to courage as
"the virtue that guarantees all others". Dr. Danforth strongly emphasized the relation between morality and
aesthetics by stressing that beautiful things, including great human beings,
teach you to appreciate the world around us. He feels that the media deaden
aesthetics and the sensitivities to the beauty of the world we live in. Character education is critical in easing our children through difficult
times : model behavior, teach behavior, live your beliefs, let your children
feel your love. Both Dr, Shopper and Dr. Danforth stressed the need for a morality education that begins at home and is supported at
school. They also emphasized that in an academic environment where the children have many
choices and parental and personal expectations are so high, we must give
our children room to try new things even if that means occasionally failing
at those things, such as in the arts and in sports.
The common theme of the evening was the need for an open, loving, honest
and balanced home environment, a secure place where we can teach our children
how to make the right moral and courageous choices.
(Submitted by Irene Fowle, Family Network co-chair---4/15/02)
